Elfira Yolanda S

Once one said that he was just going half the world away.

Just. Only. Oh, really?

Isn’t half the world away the most distant we could get between self and just anybody on this earth?

Singing half the world away..
You’re half the world away..
Half the world away..
I’ve been lost, I’ve been found,
but I don’t feel down.

Yeah, I don’t feel down…

–

sufficient to each day is its own trouble.

:)

–

I cannot miss an emergency vehicles with the high-pitched noise coming from their siren. The loud voice of the siren is not a comfort to the ears. Luckily, it’s only for a moment as an emergency vehicle will always have its red carpet road.

Well, it’s not for a moment for the passangers of the emergency vehicle but I don’t think that’s a problem. Once you are inside the emergency vehicle, you will become deaf and blind to most things, the siren is just… em… nothing. Your mind, heart, and breath will focus on mainly one thing, no, on one person, on who lies inside the emergency vehicle.

Pretty much like being in the eye of a storm, I guess.
–

Food could be a part of an event or occasion. The type and quantity of food served depends on the occasion itself. In Indonesia, for some events, the food is served in a box. It could be a meal or just snack but the box is for the convenient purpose. People just take away the food and no heavy cleaning is necessary.

The snack box I get today makes me promise myself this: if I were ever put in charge to provide snack box for an event, I would not choose 4 type of only sweet snacks. I’d mix them thoughtfully, the sweet and salty type.

This is the last post for today, November 1st,
the last of the food trilogy today.
Welcome, November!

T for Tempe, oh yeah!!

If there’s any food that I have to consume more and more frequently from now on, it should be tempe!!

Why?

They have great kind of meals with dairy product, potato, egg and eggplant but oh dear! They don’t have that much of tempe in Europe! *sigh*

So…
Welcoming my T priority..
Welcoming my sticking to hopes..

Layers..
A whole lot of them..
Delicious!

Guilty feeling keeps us sane. It is our reminder that we might have done something awful. Some times, it can be interfered by certain things such as unhealthy portion of it. In recent event I experience that too much focus on this feeling could blur my sight.

I was on the way to a farewell dinner last week. Total of around 14 people joined in a motor bike parade to the so-called panoramic restaurant in GWK Bali. It was located in rather high terrant so the journey was not so easy as it’s going up and down.

Anyway, my friend and I were caught up in a little accident. The bike, his bike, couldn’t manage to climb the road and we fell down. My cute pink helmet saved my head from the hard aspalt so please all riders, use your helmet and make sure it’s cute.

I couldn’t help but to blame myself for the incident. I haven’t been able to get used in driving a motor bike so I live in assumption that taking me for a ride will increase the risk of accident due to the weight factor. Hehe.. Call it low self-esteem or whatever, but yeah, that’s how I feel.

As soon as I could get up, my mind was full of worries, whether my friend was ok, whether he’s hurt, whether we should call the rest of the party to help us because we were the last in the parade, why it happened.

Well, it happened and when it happened, there was this one man, a benevolent stranger, the good Samaritan. He was heading to the opposite direction and he stopped to check on us. He asked our condition, he helped my friend to set his bike, he spilled out advice on how to drive on road like that.

What I regret the most after the incident is my silence. I failed to give proper reaction to the stranger’s kind act. I didn’t even say thank you. I was clouded by my guilty feeling. Now, I think that that was so selfish of me.

I let my guilty feeling absorb everything like a black hole. It didn’t help me to contribute something to make the situation better. It helped me to bring the focus closer to me than others, than the situation. Can you see how selfishness creeps in through the hole? It wants to be in the picture.

From the accident, I learn to pay attention to what I am feeling. I need to be aware what is dominating me, whether it leads me to goodness or just keep me walking around in the same spot of selfishness.

I don’t plan to wipe out the guilty feeling, who can? In my case, I plan to take driver license and have my own mean of transportation. I just need to carefully step because I realize that I still lack of motoric coordination and panic control.

Fiuh!

Hm.. This is exactly why YOU’ve died for me, right? This is, among many, what YOU’ve taken with YOU to the cross, my mistakes, my guilty feeling. Thank YOU.

:-)

I wonder how the clouds are doing out there, up there…..

Goethe once wrote:

There is nothing more frightful than ignorance in action.

Well, I am scared.

I’ve been listening to one particular song for hours, only that one song, a song my friend shared few days ago. This is not the first time and certainly not the last time, either. At least I can recall Fix You (Coldplay), Time After Time (Eva Cassidy), and White Flag (Dido) as songs I’ve poisoned myself with.

I’m still listening to the song and something comes up. Those three songs I mentioned before, those songs have successfully brought me to such melancholic level but the source was my very own feeling. Well, at first I thought this time wouldn’t be any different but the feeling is so much lighter. That is when I know there must be something different.

Then, I recognize that it is not me. I think I could guess the reason my friend likes the song. When he shared the song, he just said that the song was good, that’s all. Now that I remember what once he told me, I can see how the song fits him. Being in the spectator seat, I’m amazed. I’m touched that he didn’t even say anything about the song resemblance to the whole thing. I am amazed and am touched and that is why my melancholic pipe leaks tonight..

There! Mystery’s been solved.
Nighty nite!
[Oh, no, lamp off, but not the music player!]